Silent Prayer Of My Wailing Heart

In my darkest hour, you are my sanctuary

You let me lay down in your bosom

Consoles my broken soul with soft caress

Listens to my heart's endless wailing

Like it's a music to your ears

Kisses me gently like it's a magic spell

Bringing my dead body back to life

My life is like a dark dungeon

But you shines like the sun does

Guides me in the path of thorns

Shields me from those whiplash

Your hugs are like painkillers

Makes me numb from pains

Urging my weak body to keep going

Filling my life with colors

When everything around me is black

Keeping the flame inside my heart

Allows me to glow outside

Filling my life with melodies

Turning into a wonderful song

I wish you'll always stay by my side

YOU and HIM

He is someone who has a fire within him

He makes me spark to flame

His gaze when he stares straight to my eyes makes me melt

It weakens my body and all my senses.

He hugs and kisses me like no tomorrow

He holds my hand and squeezes them

And I squeeze back his hands

He longs for me so much that I can’t resist his longing

He don’t want somebody else but me and me alone

You are someone I stand to be with

You make me smile and laugh

You are my ideal guy

But when you’re around I can’t feel the sparks

I can’t feel butterflies in my stomach

No tight hugs and broken lips 

No passion and desire in your eyes

No hisses of I love you in my ears

That makes me giggle

I can’t make up my mind

Whom will I choose, you or him?

I want you to stay

And I want him to stay too

Confuse, confuse, confuse….

It seems I’m in a middle of two boulders

You are the one who keeps me steady

While he is the one who push me to become limitless

* Seven months ago I posted this in my tumblr account (http://human-angel.tumblr.com/).. 

I gave up HIM for YOU but in the end I loses them both. Now, I'm wondering if what really went wrong? Is it me or the way I sort things out? Currently, I only have one realization in my mind: 

Go for someone who cares more about you, the one who hold you tight, the one that squeezes your hand back, the one who wants to know you more each day. Don't push them away from you just to cater your ideal guy.